She’s like an old maiden aunt. Sometimes I don’t always agree with what she says or does. Sometimes the things that she says or does can really hurt me, but even then she is my family and I love her, and I can’t get her out of my DNA. This was how I described my relationship with the Church of England during my first vocations interview ahead of going forward for ordination. It was a useful way of describing things, and is still an analogy I use.
While there is much that divides the church, there is enough that unites us. And that enough that unites us is spoken of by Jesus here; “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” What is it that unites us as Christians when the way we choose to express our faith looks so different, it is our love for one another.
For those of you who were around at our benefice service on Maundy Thursday, you will have heard a reading from the start of this chapter, the story of Jesus washing the feet of his disciples. Our few verses of Gospel reading this morning form part of what Jesus says to his disciples once the foot washing has happened, We need to hear these words in that context.
While there may be much that divides us, what unites us is that indelible mark that Jesus commands for his disciples in John 13; love one another, as I have loved you, love one another.
And that word commandment is interesting here. Jesus doesn’t recommend, it’s not “I’ve got a new suggestion, love one another”; it’s a new commandment. The idea that love is a commandment is interesting. In the Old Testament the Ten commandments have a setting in the covenant between God and Israel at Sinai; they were the stipulations that Israel had to observe if the nation were to be God’s chosen people. In speaking of love as the new commandment for those whom Jesus had chosen as his own and as a mark by which they could be distinguished from others, John shows that he is thinking of this scene in covenant terminology.
So, if Jesus is making this new commandment, this new covenant. And he is stating that it will set us apart, and be the identifying factor for people to see we are his disciples, I wonder how that sentence honestly might finish for us personally this morning…
By this shall everyone know that you are my disciples… that you attend church every single Sunday without fail… that you can quote whole pages of scripture off by heart… that you know for a fact you give more money in the offering that anyone else… that you’re a generally nice person. Now these are all quite good in themselves and they may very well be part of what people might say when asked how they can tell you’re a Christian, but they aren’t the new commandment, they aren’t the defining mark that Jesus stipulates.
But what does this new commandment look like then? What is it for us personally to be loving one another as Jesus loved us?
Jesus’ example suggests that loving as he has loved means taking the role of the servant, caring for the needs of others without expecting anything in return. His example suggests that it is to do this not only for those who treat us well, but even for those who disappoint, hurt and even betray us.
Jesus’ commandment to love one another is not a commandment to feel affection, but a commandment to act in a loving way, even when we would rather do otherwise. Of course we always fall short of God’s perfect love, but that cannot be an excuse to nurse grudges and wallow in unloving behaviour. As we are washed by Jesus in God’s deep and generous love, our hearts are stretched to love more completely, fully and unwaveringly.
There was a documentary some years ago, in which a reporter interviewed a woman in Rwanda named Iphigenia. She was from the Tutsi tribe, and during the Rwandan genocide in 1994, her husband and five children were clubbed and hacked to death by a mob of Hutus, including one of her neighbours.
The neighbour who had participated in the massacre spent seven years in prison and went before a tribal court, where he asked for forgiveness from Iphigenia and the whole community. Iphigenia opened her heart and forgave her neighbour. But it did not end there. Iphigenia, a master weaver, also taught her neighbour’s wife how to weave baskets. The two became friends and business partners.
On the day that the reporter was interviewing her, Iphigenia had invited these same neighbours into her home and was serving them dinner. That’s right- she was serving dinner to the man who killed her husband and children. When asked how she found it in her heart to forgive, Iphigenia said simply, “I am a Christian, and I pray a lot.”
Jesus says that our Christlike love will show we are disciples. When people look at us do they see petty bickering, jealousy, and division amongst us and other Christians? Or do they know we are Jesus’ followers by our love for one another?
As Iphigenia exemplified in the story, love is more than simply warm feelings; it is an attitude that reveals itself in action. How can we love others as Jesus loves us? By helping when it’s not convenient, by giving when it hurts, by devoting energy to others welfare rather than our own, by absorbing hurts from others without complaining or fighting back. This kind of loving is hard to do. This is why people notice and know you must be empowered by a supernatural source.
Left to our human resources, this kind of love and forgiveness would be inconceivable. But it is possible because of the one who loves us fully and completely, the one who gave us the commandment and pattern for love. The one who loves us to the end, even to the cross, grave and back again. The one whose love is displayed in the word and sacrament.
Amen.
Service: Rev Lex Bradley-Stow, 18th May 2025. (St John’s Church Peterborough UK)
Readings: John 13: 31-35