Today I’m continuing our series on giving from generous and loving hearts, following on from Sam last week and Michelle the week beforehand, as I aim to unpick what this week’s gospel reading is asking of us.
Our gospel reading opened with Peter asking Jesus how many times he should forgive if someone sins against him, generously suggesting seven times. However, it seems from Jesus’ response, which was translated in our reading as seventy-seven times, but in other translations seventy times seven, which is a much larger number – that it isn’t really the number that Jesus is alluding to – it’s the fact that if we have to count the times we forgive, then perhaps we have misunderstood forgiveness!
Forgiveness isn’t an easy thing, I read on the news feed every day statements such as – ‘I just wanted my revenge’, ‘I wanted to get my own back…’, ‘we need them to hurt like we are hurting…’, the word forgiveness rarely features. Hurt frequently turns to hate, this can be unconscious and instinctive, we are human! Hurt humans rarely react with forgiveness. If we’re honest with ourselves, I’m sure many of us can think of a time when we’ve simmered in anger at the actions of another, I certainly know that I have, and afterwards, when I’ve ‘cooled off’ as such, I’m usually the one feeling cross with myself; anger can bind us up!
What about when forgiveness is offered to us when we’ve slipped up, how good are we at receiving it? Many of us struggle, we beat ourselves up and won’t even forgive ourselves, let alone open our hearts to receive it from others. But surely giving and receiving forgiveness is central to our faith?
Jesus tells the story of the slave to make his point. The slave owes so much they have no hope of paying it off – one talent would be the wage for fifteen years of manual work, this slave owed ten thousand talents! What an incredible act of forgiveness by the landowner, to let them off with the debt and free them to live their life.
Sadly, despite being forgiven so much himself, the slave does not seem to see that he should offer the same amazing grace to the one who owes him a much lesser amount.
If the slave couldn’t forgive, what makes us think we can?
Because we have received God’s forgiveness, and we can pass that on! We know what forgiveness feels like.
Having experienced forgiveness at the hands of God, we are then called to make it possible for others to experience it – God’s people, carrying out God’s work allowing the circle of Christ’s love to expand ever wider, allowing more people to experience the gift of forgiveness and the release and freedom that brings. Forgiveness is transforming!
Do we have the crux here of what is being asked of us in this reading? Are we being asked to give the gift of forgiveness and reconciliation? I would suggest that giving the gift of forgiveness to someone who has wronged you is the ultimate gift. It not only frees the receiver but also the giver.
However, as Christians should we just forgive and forget in every situation? That might not be terribly helpful, sometimes remembering what has happened may stop us getting things wrong and making mistakes in the future. The key thing is that we should never ever give up making forgiveness and reconciliation our goal. Confrontation does and will happen, but our aim as Christians, in every situation, should be one of forgiveness, not retribution. Would we ever want to withhold forgiveness, knowing the distress it causes on both sides?
At the end of the chapter, we hear the risk we run if we do not forgive: ‘so my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart.’
Forgiveness and reconciliation are at the centre of our faith, it isn’t something that we can turn on and off as and when we choose, they are fundamental – therefore we must aim to never act in that way, we must act in a God like way and forgive freely and fully.
Full forgiveness isn’t simple, as Jesus says ‘it’s from the heart’ – it’s from deep within us, it leaves no resentment behind whatsoever. How can we do this as fallible humans?
Only with God’s help. We need to know and understand how God has forgiven us, and be open to receiving that, and then pray that God will give us the grace to forgive – if we ask, we will receive. We need to be fully aware of the grace we have received, to allow us to be gracious and to lay aside the compulsion to seek vengeance. And if we do fully forgive from the heart, then can we do anything other than love those we forgive and find pleasure in the act of reconciliation that our forgiveness makes possible?
The conversation that was being had in this gospel passage, is Jesus instructing the disciples on the new community that he has been preparing for, that new community is the church. And when Peter asked that question, right back at the beginning of the reading – he actually asks it in the context of the church – ‘if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive’ – life together as a church family requires accountability, the giving and receiving of forgiveness is part of this.
Imagine how frequently the cause of Christ is set back by our grudges and resentments. Our actions are irreversible and the urge for vengeance can feel irrepressible, the only way forward is through forgiveness – a genuinely free act that breaks the cycle. Just envisage how much more effective the church’s witness would be if, as Christians we practiced these two disciplines—seeking to resolve issues with fellow Christians and forgiving fellow Christians – as well as those yet to find Christ. God’s forgiveness is a transforming power which decrees a forgiving way of life. Wouldn’t that be a wonderful foundation to base our mission and outreach on, coming together in unity to share God’s love, grace and forgiveness from deep within our hearts!
Service: Reverend Rebecca Yates – 17th September 2023
Referenced Scripture: Matthew 18:21-35